Kim Jong UnDone?


You may be witnessing the most important moment in the 21st century, yet. In the early hours of October 3, reports began to emerge from the doldrums of North Korea that Kim Jong Un – belonging to the most notorious dictatorial dynasty in the last 100 years – had been overthrown by his own government in Pyongyang.

 Take a deep breath. Do you know what this means?

It means Freedom! Well sort of. It means that the poor, oppressed people of North Korea no longer need to fake tears for their leader. They no longer need to take his words for gospel. They can now complain about the lack of basic human necessities like electricity, food and water. They can finally discover what it means to have human rights! They no longer need to believe that their previous leader (Kim Jong Un’s dad, Il) invented burgers for God’s sake!

More importantly, it means the threat of nuclear war has more or less been averted. Only a few months ago did Kim Jong Un vow to annihilate the USA with the huge arsenal of warheads he had in his disposal. He could have at any moment decided to press a button and begin a Dolanian nuclear holocaust. Oh! Now we also don’t have to deal with the moral dilemma of figuring out if Dennis Rodman is a sane human being or not.

What the… How did this happen?

For those of us addicted to a news feed, it’s been a topic of suspicion for a few weeks now. Kim Jon Un has not been seen in public for three weeks now. Many of us wondered if he had actually died! Surely, a country that’s been under the thumb of one family for the better part of a century would be paralysed by the fallout of power. Korean media released a news statement that their godly deity of a leader had been laid low by the notorious global epidemic that is goiter. Yet today, out of the blue, North Korea’s number two in command paid a visit to Seoul in order to attend the closing of the 2014 Asian Games. Notice something yet? It simply does not happen! A country sworn to wipe out their foes from every map on planet earth suddenly decides to put an arm around a shoulder for a chat. It seems that even the power obsessed not-so-glitterati began to realise that their leader is better suited to launching warheads on Rise of Nations.

So what now?

Reports continue to stream out of North Korea that there is talk for something akin to Reunification. There’s a whole generation of humans across the world who are unaware that North Korea and South Korea were once the same country – Korea! Hence the term generalised term some people refer to every time they feel like having a pop-cultural pop at ‘Asians’ – Koreans. Seriously though, has anyone given a thought to how North Koreans feel about this development. For decades, their people have been under the relentless pounding of state propaganda hailing their leader and their nation as the only way of life. These people have been forced to feign tears of sorrow every time their leader passed away. Line the streets of Pyongyang and exhibit their overwhelming sadness at the passing of their celestial leader. They’ve been forced to believe so many facts about the world that are completely untrue.

Even defectors, who braved certain death to them and all they know to escape North Korea – after having spent time across the border – want to go back! Why?? Because they can’t cope with a ‘free-market economy’! Can you imagine what it would be like if we plucked someone from the 1930’s and put them in the middle of modern day civilisation? Oh wait… you can.

Needless to say that this is a fascinating turn of events. It seems the butt of all dictator jokes will now have to be shifted to President Assad for the foreseeable future. Oh and spare a thought for James Franco and Seth Rogen. They’re about to a release a movie where a journalist attains an exclusive interview with the now-not-so-notorious Kim Jong Un. A funny premise, but the joke is about to run its course. IMAGE of Kim Jong Un: I do not own the rights to this image. The image is owned by AlfredShaker.

Source:  deviantART. IMAGE of Captain America: Source: wikimedia.org

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